As I progress in my clinical practicum, I have been really reflecting upon many things in my life. Love, family, extended family, happiness, fulfillment, children, midwifery, my career, my future, sleep (lack there of), life and death.
It's really been interesting, the discussions I have had, both within my own mind, and with co-workers, friends, family, acquaintances, midwives, nurses at my clinical site.
Funny -- I don't know how to write it all down, what I've been pondering and discussing.
Life --- we have only one. We have to recognize our strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. What is it that we can pursue, and how far should we pursue it? What if I fail? What if........it's not what I had built up in my mind for so long? What if........I need to change paths?
I've lost touch with much of my family over the past several years. Several life changing events have occurred, specifically, two very close family members have died. Women that I love with all of my heart and soul, and I sit here now and cry for their loss. I miss their presence terribly. I regret not fully appreciating and loving them and telling them that when I could have. And now.......I can't.
I had a very long heart to heart talk with a family member that I have not spoken to in over four years. FOUR YEARS!?!? How had I let it go for that long?!? HOW?!?!!!!!!!
Things need to change. I need to change. I need to refocus my attentions and energy on spending time with the family that I have left. Family is ALL WE HAVE.
I have focused on my goal of becoming a midwife for so long now. I may need to readjust that focus and drive a bit. I have also seen a different side to life --- something that I didn't expect to see. I feel differently about things now. Wow. Just....wow.
No, I am not quitting or dropping out. Not by a long shot!!! But I really am reflecting and reevaluating certain things in my life that relate to midwifery, my career, and most importantly, my family.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Early "Happy Holidays"
An early Happy Holidays to everyone! T-minus 6 days until Christmas. Are you ready? My lights have been up for almost a month. My tree - up and decorated since before Thanksgiving. Shopping almost entirely done online. Going out and about this week to visit various family members, and will celebrate Christmas at home with just my immediately family.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
If you're thinking about becoming a nurse-midwife
It's been a few days since I wrote anything. Not a whole lot to say and not a whole lot of free time to post either!
This post will be aimed at those who are considering education to become a nurse-midwife (CNM). First of all, you need to go to nursing school and become an RN (registered nurse). This can be anywhere from a 2 year program, up to a 4 year program. It all depends on if you go full-time or part-time, and if you choose a diploma program, associate's degree program (which is what I did), or a bachelor's degree program. A BSN program will give you more options for different midwifery programs, since many require a BSN to enter.
Frontier has a Bridge program, which I did, where if you have an associate's degree, you can do a bridge year to complete the undergraduate level coursework. You don't actually get a BSN, but you do "bridge" into the MSN level coursework. I'm currently in year 2 of the MSN level coursework, and am going part-time. If you go full-time, you can be done in 9 months less than the part-time program.
Be prepared to devote much (and I do mean MUCH) of your "free" time to studying and writing papers for school. I work full-time (4 shifts per week), and do school work almost every single day. My days "off" are not really days off, since I'm usually doing upwards of 6-8 hours of school work on those "off" days. And believe me when I say, this is sometimes not nearly enough hours in the day/week to get all of the studying done.
Be prepared to do a wholllllllllllle lot of reading in midwifery school. Now, I do love to read, but sometimes, the clinical readings are, well, dull and dry. But they are all important. Reading will become a huge part of your life. I take something with me wherever I go to fit school reading into my daily life. Note cards, spiral notebooks, even textbooks - they go with me everywhere. I squeeze in reading while waiting at the doctor's office, when out dining with the family (sometimes), sitting in the car, on vacation, at the beach, on my meal break at work, etc. You name it, I've probably read school related readings there. As you can tell, midwifery students will take any down time to study and read.
Be prepared to miss events in your children's lives. I hate this the most. They are only young once. I sometimes feel like I'm missing my youngest child grow up. So, there are times where I will put down the books, step away from the computer, and will spend quality time with her. I know she gets angry that I'm always studying. It is imperative to make special time just for her and I.
Time as a couple: what's that? Yes, it's hard to make time just for the special one in my life. But we find time here and there: watching a movie together, or watching House (yes, we LOVE House!).
Having a sit down dinner with the whole family at least 2-3 days per week is so important for recharging and being with the family. This is a MUST!
Finding balance for all of it: since this is my third year in school, I'm still trying to find the right balance. There are times when I feel like I never see my family -- between work and studying, I'm not "there" with them that often. But, we make the best of it all.
There is an end in sight! I should be graduating around March/April of 2013. If not sooner, if I can get all of my clinical hours and numbers in! (Wouldn't that be great!!)
This post will be aimed at those who are considering education to become a nurse-midwife (CNM). First of all, you need to go to nursing school and become an RN (registered nurse). This can be anywhere from a 2 year program, up to a 4 year program. It all depends on if you go full-time or part-time, and if you choose a diploma program, associate's degree program (which is what I did), or a bachelor's degree program. A BSN program will give you more options for different midwifery programs, since many require a BSN to enter.
Frontier has a Bridge program, which I did, where if you have an associate's degree, you can do a bridge year to complete the undergraduate level coursework. You don't actually get a BSN, but you do "bridge" into the MSN level coursework. I'm currently in year 2 of the MSN level coursework, and am going part-time. If you go full-time, you can be done in 9 months less than the part-time program.
Be prepared to devote much (and I do mean MUCH) of your "free" time to studying and writing papers for school. I work full-time (4 shifts per week), and do school work almost every single day. My days "off" are not really days off, since I'm usually doing upwards of 6-8 hours of school work on those "off" days. And believe me when I say, this is sometimes not nearly enough hours in the day/week to get all of the studying done.
Be prepared to do a wholllllllllllle lot of reading in midwifery school. Now, I do love to read, but sometimes, the clinical readings are, well, dull and dry. But they are all important. Reading will become a huge part of your life. I take something with me wherever I go to fit school reading into my daily life. Note cards, spiral notebooks, even textbooks - they go with me everywhere. I squeeze in reading while waiting at the doctor's office, when out dining with the family (sometimes), sitting in the car, on vacation, at the beach, on my meal break at work, etc. You name it, I've probably read school related readings there. As you can tell, midwifery students will take any down time to study and read.
Be prepared to miss events in your children's lives. I hate this the most. They are only young once. I sometimes feel like I'm missing my youngest child grow up. So, there are times where I will put down the books, step away from the computer, and will spend quality time with her. I know she gets angry that I'm always studying. It is imperative to make special time just for her and I.
Time as a couple: what's that? Yes, it's hard to make time just for the special one in my life. But we find time here and there: watching a movie together, or watching House (yes, we LOVE House!).
Having a sit down dinner with the whole family at least 2-3 days per week is so important for recharging and being with the family. This is a MUST!
Finding balance for all of it: since this is my third year in school, I'm still trying to find the right balance. There are times when I feel like I never see my family -- between work and studying, I'm not "there" with them that often. But, we make the best of it all.
There is an end in sight! I should be graduating around March/April of 2013. If not sooner, if I can get all of my clinical hours and numbers in! (Wouldn't that be great!!)
Friday, November 26, 2010
Seizures
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but my teenage son has epilepsy. We went through about 2 yrs worth of seizures, before finally finding a good dose of his medication and staying seizure-free for another two years. Then he was allowed to wean off of the medication (after a normal EEG). We weaned him off of his med starting last April/May. He was doing great.
Until this morning.
Loud thumping against the wall around 6:30am. I thought it was my neighbors, who are normally VERY quiet, banging doors/walls in their house. Then the noises stopped after just a minute or so.
Thank goodness I have a weak bladder, because I went and got up to use the bathroom. I pass by my son's room on the way, and whattya know...........I find him immediately post-ictal (post seizure) in his computer chair. He got up from his bed to turn his monitor off, and apparently he then seized. I found out how he got to his computer chair after he woke up, and asked him what were the last things he remembered. He said that he fell asleep watching TV on his computer from his bed - with the screen tilted towards his bed. He said he remembered getting up to turn it off and turn it around to his chair, then nothing.
He's never been diagnosed with lights being a trigger for his past seizures. They would literally come out of the blue. Any time of the day or night. At home, at school, in the car.
After consulting with the on call doctor on the phone, he's now been restarted on the medication he was on before. Plus, we need to contact his pediatric neurologist on Monday for further evaluation and medication dosing.
Until this morning.
Loud thumping against the wall around 6:30am. I thought it was my neighbors, who are normally VERY quiet, banging doors/walls in their house. Then the noises stopped after just a minute or so.
Thank goodness I have a weak bladder, because I went and got up to use the bathroom. I pass by my son's room on the way, and whattya know...........I find him immediately post-ictal (post seizure) in his computer chair. He got up from his bed to turn his monitor off, and apparently he then seized. I found out how he got to his computer chair after he woke up, and asked him what were the last things he remembered. He said that he fell asleep watching TV on his computer from his bed - with the screen tilted towards his bed. He said he remembered getting up to turn it off and turn it around to his chair, then nothing.
He's never been diagnosed with lights being a trigger for his past seizures. They would literally come out of the blue. Any time of the day or night. At home, at school, in the car.
After consulting with the on call doctor on the phone, he's now been restarted on the medication he was on before. Plus, we need to contact his pediatric neurologist on Monday for further evaluation and medication dosing.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Technology: Here To Stay
All of our technology and electronics in this day and age does have it's positive and redeeming values.
Today, I am forever glad for the internet and Facebook, for being able to "see" my baby brother as he serves our country in the Army over in the Middle East.
Thank you technology!!!!
Today, I am forever glad for the internet and Facebook, for being able to "see" my baby brother as he serves our country in the Army over in the Middle East.
Thank you technology!!!!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Family life
Yes, I noticed too that I didn't really talk about what I do to ensure that family life is taken care of during the stress of work, school and family.
Well, for one thing, we try to take day trips to various places. Granted, this isn't an every week thing, and depends on the weather and finances! We only have the youngest who needs our devoted attention, and she's 7 years old. So, thankfully, I'm not having to juggle more than one young child's needs.
We recently had a picnic and birthday party celebration for our daughter. It was a blast! She had several of her friends come, but it wasn't *too* many kids. It was just enough for them all to get along and have a great time. Also time for us parents to have a little bit of adult time as we watched the girls all play and have fun.
As soon as this rainy weather clears (yes, it hit today, blech!), we will be getting out as a family and enjoying the sunny days on some more hikes. We haven't had a good hike in over a month due to the extreme heat we've had. Now that it's a little cooler, it should be better for hiking.
I also love to do one-on-one time with our daughter. We've gone to several pool parties and public pool outings together. Just mommy and me time!
We've also had a few date nights with the significant other :-) Can't forget that!
So, yeah, we do lead a fairly busy life, but manage to get time in for everyone as well.
Well, for one thing, we try to take day trips to various places. Granted, this isn't an every week thing, and depends on the weather and finances! We only have the youngest who needs our devoted attention, and she's 7 years old. So, thankfully, I'm not having to juggle more than one young child's needs.
We recently had a picnic and birthday party celebration for our daughter. It was a blast! She had several of her friends come, but it wasn't *too* many kids. It was just enough for them all to get along and have a great time. Also time for us parents to have a little bit of adult time as we watched the girls all play and have fun.
As soon as this rainy weather clears (yes, it hit today, blech!), we will be getting out as a family and enjoying the sunny days on some more hikes. We haven't had a good hike in over a month due to the extreme heat we've had. Now that it's a little cooler, it should be better for hiking.
I also love to do one-on-one time with our daughter. We've gone to several pool parties and public pool outings together. Just mommy and me time!
We've also had a few date nights with the significant other :-) Can't forget that!
So, yeah, we do lead a fairly busy life, but manage to get time in for everyone as well.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
How to handle working, family life, and school
Some people wonder how I'm able to juggle everything: working full-time, family life, and midwifery school.
I suppose the fact that I like to be super-organized really helps! I keep two calenders: one on the fridge and a personal sized day planner. I put everything on both calenders - work hours, doctor appointments, family get-togethers, nights out with my girlfriends, scheduled phone conferences for school, due dates for school assignments. You name it, I put it on the calender/day planner. It is the only way that I am able to communicate to my entire family about what everyone is doing each day.
I keep a photocopy of the current work schedule for the entire unit in my day planner, just in case I need to call someone to make a swap of shifts if something comes up at home.
I have all of my bills organized on a chart next to my desk (which is at the center of all activity in the house). I can simply check off each bill as it gets paid, and see if there is anything else due at that moment. I also pay most of my bills online - so much easier!
For school work, I keep a file folder for each class. I have a checklist on the very front of each folder with all of the assignments and the due dates. I create this folder and document at the beginning of each term, so I stay organized and on track for each class. I started keeping a 3 ring binder for each class that has a lot of loose papers/notes that I need to keep organized. I also keep a file folder for each class on my computer, with tons more documents that I have saved for each class. (Just so you don't think I'm killing trees and printing out EVERYTHING!)
Study time is usually in the mornings/early afternoon, before I leave for work. Or I do several hours of studying on my days off of work. I've been known to bring textbooks to bed with me at night to do some more reading. Whenever I can get reading time in for school assignments, I do it! I always bring something to read to work and do that in down time, or over my dinner break. I have also been known to take a textbook with me when I go out to dinner or to a family gathering. Like I said - whenever I can get a free moment to read, my nose is in a book or in a journal article.
One place that is school free is when we go on a vacation. Vacation is just that: a break from the everyday world. No computer, no email, no schoolwork.
Some days I just wing it. Just so you don't think that I'm so totally structured ;-)
I suppose the fact that I like to be super-organized really helps! I keep two calenders: one on the fridge and a personal sized day planner. I put everything on both calenders - work hours, doctor appointments, family get-togethers, nights out with my girlfriends, scheduled phone conferences for school, due dates for school assignments. You name it, I put it on the calender/day planner. It is the only way that I am able to communicate to my entire family about what everyone is doing each day.
I keep a photocopy of the current work schedule for the entire unit in my day planner, just in case I need to call someone to make a swap of shifts if something comes up at home.
I have all of my bills organized on a chart next to my desk (which is at the center of all activity in the house). I can simply check off each bill as it gets paid, and see if there is anything else due at that moment. I also pay most of my bills online - so much easier!
For school work, I keep a file folder for each class. I have a checklist on the very front of each folder with all of the assignments and the due dates. I create this folder and document at the beginning of each term, so I stay organized and on track for each class. I started keeping a 3 ring binder for each class that has a lot of loose papers/notes that I need to keep organized. I also keep a file folder for each class on my computer, with tons more documents that I have saved for each class. (Just so you don't think I'm killing trees and printing out EVERYTHING!)
Study time is usually in the mornings/early afternoon, before I leave for work. Or I do several hours of studying on my days off of work. I've been known to bring textbooks to bed with me at night to do some more reading. Whenever I can get reading time in for school assignments, I do it! I always bring something to read to work and do that in down time, or over my dinner break. I have also been known to take a textbook with me when I go out to dinner or to a family gathering. Like I said - whenever I can get a free moment to read, my nose is in a book or in a journal article.
One place that is school free is when we go on a vacation. Vacation is just that: a break from the everyday world. No computer, no email, no schoolwork.
Some days I just wing it. Just so you don't think that I'm so totally structured ;-)
Saturday, June 12, 2010
The Graduate: my son
The kids are out of school ~ yeah!
My son graduated from high school last night. Wow, how the time flies. During the commencement, I was reliving his moments in Kindergarten, thinking about how little he was then. Now, he's a man. Where did my little guy go? ::sniffles::
I'm so proud of him for finishing high school. He has been through so much in his teenage years: the horrible divorce between his dad and I, moving back and forth from his dad's to my home, visitations, drama with his dad, and an eventual ending of his relationship with his dad on a very sour note.
To see him graduate from high school, and see what a mature person he has grown into, just amazes me. No problems with smoking, drinking or drugs. Not even weird hair dye jobs! (And trust me, I expected that last one to happen.) He maintained a good GPA in school, even though he was slacking at the end. He received special notice in the commencement booklet for high achievements in math, reading, and writing.
His plans for the future? Unknown. He's taking the summer off to slack and do whatever. I have told him that I prefer that he enroll at the very least in the community college and take some general courses in the fall, or find a FT job for the fall. He's aiming more towards finding a job, because he honestly has no clue what he's interesting in doing "when he grows up". He has shown interest in applying for a job at the hospital, maybe as a transportation assistant. I suppose, we shall see what he decides to do, come September.
My son graduated from high school last night. Wow, how the time flies. During the commencement, I was reliving his moments in Kindergarten, thinking about how little he was then. Now, he's a man. Where did my little guy go? ::sniffles::
I'm so proud of him for finishing high school. He has been through so much in his teenage years: the horrible divorce between his dad and I, moving back and forth from his dad's to my home, visitations, drama with his dad, and an eventual ending of his relationship with his dad on a very sour note.
To see him graduate from high school, and see what a mature person he has grown into, just amazes me. No problems with smoking, drinking or drugs. Not even weird hair dye jobs! (And trust me, I expected that last one to happen.) He maintained a good GPA in school, even though he was slacking at the end. He received special notice in the commencement booklet for high achievements in math, reading, and writing.
His plans for the future? Unknown. He's taking the summer off to slack and do whatever. I have told him that I prefer that he enroll at the very least in the community college and take some general courses in the fall, or find a FT job for the fall. He's aiming more towards finding a job, because he honestly has no clue what he's interesting in doing "when he grows up". He has shown interest in applying for a job at the hospital, maybe as a transportation assistant. I suppose, we shall see what he decides to do, come September.
Friday, January 15, 2010
L&D, School, Home
Howdy everyone! It's been a very busy week on L&D and at the Cervix Household.
L&D: busting at the seams, as usual. We're not getting much relief in the influx of pregnant women. They just keep pouring in........with nary a room to spare. We're delivering babies in the triage unit. That's how busy it is at times. I don't know what the powers that be are thinking when they say that we don't have any RN positions open. Because we seriously need more nurses. Oh, and some more LDR rooms would be great too.
School: patho, patho, patho! I've taken two open book exams and one secure (closed book) exam so far. It was all on genetics, stress, inflammatory response, and some of the basic cellular things. Next up: the immune system. It's a biggie. Not doing a whole lot of reading for my History of Midwifery course, so I really need to get busy with that also. I have a paper due in about 4 weeks for that class.
Home: just found out that my other half has an extremely rare genetic immunity disorder. It explains a lot of the medical problems he has had since he was a child. Now, we just need to work on treatment of his existing problems. Since it's a chromosomal genetic disorder, it has no cure. Oh gee, and only 250 or so documented cases of it in the medical world. I'm concerned that our daughter might have it as well, since she exhibits several of the same symptoms. I need to get her in to see her pediatrician and have her evaluated. Quite ironic that I was just studying genetics, and now immunology........
L&D: busting at the seams, as usual. We're not getting much relief in the influx of pregnant women. They just keep pouring in........with nary a room to spare. We're delivering babies in the triage unit. That's how busy it is at times. I don't know what the powers that be are thinking when they say that we don't have any RN positions open. Because we seriously need more nurses. Oh, and some more LDR rooms would be great too.
School: patho, patho, patho! I've taken two open book exams and one secure (closed book) exam so far. It was all on genetics, stress, inflammatory response, and some of the basic cellular things. Next up: the immune system. It's a biggie. Not doing a whole lot of reading for my History of Midwifery course, so I really need to get busy with that also. I have a paper due in about 4 weeks for that class.
Home: just found out that my other half has an extremely rare genetic immunity disorder. It explains a lot of the medical problems he has had since he was a child. Now, we just need to work on treatment of his existing problems. Since it's a chromosomal genetic disorder, it has no cure. Oh gee, and only 250 or so documented cases of it in the medical world. I'm concerned that our daughter might have it as well, since she exhibits several of the same symptoms. I need to get her in to see her pediatrician and have her evaluated. Quite ironic that I was just studying genetics, and now immunology........
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