You are not a failure.
It is not your fault for not being able to vaginally birth your baby after a prior c-section.
Your body did not let you down.
You are an amazing woman.
Your strong will and desire to achieve the safest birth for your baby is admirable.
You had excellent support by your side.
You moved freely while laboring stoically.
You kept your energy up by drinking liquids liberally.
You chose excellent care providers who supported you completely.
For whatever reasons, sometimes our best intentions do not conclude the way we hope and anticipate.
Perhaps the passenger (baby) was in a funky position that we couldn't help rotate.
Perhaps the contractions, although very strong and regular, were not enough to help the baby to descend.
Perhaps there was a short umbilical cord that no one knew about ahead of time, that prohibited the baby from descending any further.
Perhaps there was scar tissue on your cervix that just couldn't or wouldn't be broken to allow for dilation.
Perhaps there was something unknown, and we may never know the reason why.
But you are not a failure.
Warm hugs ---
AtYourCervix
11 comments:
Thanks for posting bought tears to my eyes
Thanks for posting! Women in this situation need to hear these words!
Beautiful! The words you wrote, especially, "Your body did not let you down." is so different from most other sites I see online. Thank you.
Thanks for this post. I'm 32 weeks and I'm sorta scared to try VBAC. I had a rough birth last time - pre-e, HELLP, and severe post-partum hemorrhage that required several transfusions.
I wanted a natural birth the first time, but obviously that didn't pan out and I had a c-section and an extra long hospital stay.
My doctor is planning on a repeat c-section. But part of me wants to try a VBAC... but I'm so scared. I have chronic hypertension. Is this reason to avoid a VBAC?
I'd love it if you made another post on VBACS and how they are better than c-sections. I'm really feeling so torn... I so want a drug-free natural birth. But I'm really scared.
Thanks for your blog!
:) Steph
Steph,
Chronic hypertension is not a reason to avoid VBAC. It will be a reason for your care providers to monitor you closely for superimposed preeclampsia in your 3rd trimester. With your high risk history, I would not recommend trying a VBAC at home, but in a hospital it should be no problem. You should follow your heart. Good luck.
Another Labor Nurse Reader
Thank you! Last month, I tried to VBAC and never dilated once my water broke (on its own). I had all the best support in place for a natural delivery and it still didn't work. This makes me feel better.
Thank you, thank you. I was a good candidate for a VBAC, but it failed. I was so close...but in the end, a RCS was best for me and the baby. I still experience sadness that I was in that small percentage of failed VBAC's and it can make you feel like a failure. I hope many who search VBAC's come across your post. When they did my C/S, they found a ruptured uterus, so the c/s saved my baby's life. But I was still glad I tried the VBAC. And I had another baby after that too!!
Thanks indeed! I am at 35 weeks and going to try a VBAC in late March, with the support of my OB and a doula. I'm trying to keep an open mind about the outcome (my birth plan so far is a) a live baby and b) a functioning uterus) and this was a real relief to read. I know I'll be OK either way. Thanks again!
Thank you so much! I know I did everything possible to achieve my VBAC, but it still broke my heart when it failed. Your words are so comforting!
I tried for a vbac five times. It's comforting to know that there are others who understand.
Thank you for this!
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