Reposting: Things overheard on L&D

Ok, so my brain is not working so well on coming up with witty and new posts lately. So, here's an oldie by goodie, a blast from the past.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Things overheard on L&D

"This is not a freaking hotel!" ~~ midwife, referring to a woman we were sending home, after a failed elective induction. The woman wasn't happy with the idea of staying overnight to try again in the morning. Then she wasn't happy about going home instead. (Can't make everyone happy, can we now?)

"I just want to be a good mom." ~~ developmentally delayed new post op c/s mom, when asking about pacifiers for her newborn baby who was in the NICU. (This woman broke my heart. I hope she does well with being a mom! She's going to need a lot of extra support and services.)

"Make two fists with your hands and sit on them." ~~ midwife to woman in early labor, who obviously has a very posterior cervix. (Sitting on her fists helps tilt her cervix and pelvis forward, for the midwife to be able to reach her cervix better.)

"I wish I had some roller skates." ~~ one nurse to another nurse, as they pass each other in the long hallway between the labor rooms and triage rooms.

"I didn't know you were working tonight!" ~~ one nurse to another when they finally cross paths, more than halfway into the shift. (Yeah, that's how busy it's been!)

"Is it time for more pain medication yet?" ~~ patient to nurse, several times during the shift. (Patient was not in labor, and had a strong history of drug abuse. Questionable back pain with no apparent cause.)

"Give a good cough for me." ~~ doctor during a speculum exam to check for pooling.

"I'm here to see my sister. No, I don't know her last name." ~~ visitor to secretary. (Ooops, sorry! If you don't know her first AND last name, then we can't help you. No, we can't violate HIPPA by suggesting different last names that match the first name you have provided either.)