Do you ever wonder if sometimes, things are just meant to be? No matter what we do, if it's supposed to happen, something will happen?
I've taken care of women who have had a variety of genuine birth control "failures" which resulted in fullterm, living babies.
- IUD failure: vaginal birth of a healthy baby girl. IUD found embedded in the placenta.
- Birth control pill failure: vaginal birth of a healthy baby boy. The parents had completed their family 8 years before after the birth of their second child. Surprise!
- Vasectomy failure: vaginal birth of a healthy baby girl. The fellow got his all clear sperm count at 3 months and 6 months. When his wife suspected she was pregnant again right about one year after his vasectomy, he had another sperm count done - and it showed NO sperm. Lo and behold, she was pregnant! He insisted on another sperm count, using a different medical provider, and he was definitely producing little swimmers!
- Vasectomy failure: twin boys, born healthy and at term in a 44 year old woman. The father had undergone a vasectomy 17 years prior, with clear counts afterward. He was in such denial, that he insisted on paternity testing for the identical twin boys. Sure enough, yep, he was a papa again! (Can you imagine - 44 and having identical twins, spontaneously, 17 years after your husband had a vasectomy??)
- Birth control pill failure: finding out that you're about 24 weeks pregnant at an annual exam. (Go in for a pap smear, and end up hearing your unborn baby's heartbeat via doppler. Talk about unexpected!)
- Depo Provera failure: no periods, no worries, right? Wrong. Kinda scary, considering the high rate/risk for fetal defects when you conceive while on the depo shot. Yes, she got her shot religiously every 12 weeks.
(Note: most of the time, birth control works perfectly fine at preventing pregnancy. These are some of the rare instances of the few times that it fails.)
26 comments:
I've met quite a few women that have conceived while on the pill. The vasectomy stories are priceless though- really, who expects to get pregnant after thinking they've made a permanent alteration to prevent pregnancy?!?
When it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
I think all women know someone who has gotten pregnant despite birth control.
I keep waiting for the infertility to fail--seems quite a few infertiles get oopsie babies too.
M
yep, we got a birth control pill failure surprise,too - due in about 8 weeks! :D my DH nearly fell over from shock when I told him; he thot 3 was enough (esp. since he's in his 50's.....!) He's going to get fixed - maybe I won't tell him that can fail too!?! ;p
I guess it's been almost 20 years now, my sister's next door neighbor had a baby boy. The neighbor on the other side had 3 girls, & the father of the baby boy was giving the girls' father grief about not "having what it takes" to make boys (whatever that's supposed to mean). Several months later, mama of the girls turns up pg quite unexpected. I have no idea what type of birth control they were using, but it was certainly an unplanned pregnancy. They were hoping for a boy. When she went in for an u/s at about 18w, there wasn't one boy in there, there wasn't two boys in there--there were THREE boys in there!! Yep, triplets. She carried them 34 weeks, 4#5oz, 4#6oz, & 4#7oz. None of them was ever on a vent and all were on room air within hours.
I have personally delivered or cared for : Essure failure, vas failure, TL (done at time of c-section) failure (I did the CS/TL and pathological confirmation that I got both tubes!), OCP failure, Mirena failure, Depo failure.
There is NO perfect birth control, much to my patient's chagrin.
A doc in the next town over delivered a baby where dad had had a vas and mom had her tubes tied...both done years before they met one another. Now that pregnancy was meant to be!
Love your blog. But this entry leaves me disappointed. Happens a lot when you're infertile.
FYI it's not always a good thing, vasectomy and tube tying failures have broken up many marriages and sometimes I have know one parent to commit suicide because of it (as in this was a dangerous thing for the mother and yet she carried the pregnancy and the guilt was too much).
As I mentioned several months ago in another discussion, I was in my early 40s when my tubal ligation failed less than two months after the original surgery (verified by HSG three months after the original surgery, one month after a medical abortion).
I had a better lifetime record avoiding pregnancy prior to the TL, using condoms (100% success). Prior to the surgical failure, I'd never even had a scare, even throughout my supposedly highly fertile 20s.
Infertile Anonymous: As one who has never wanted to become pregnant, I'm so sorry. Believe me, I'd love to trade places with you if I could. My reasons are not entirely altruistic; if I were infertile, I'd never have known the surgery was a failure. I'd also never have discovered that my supposedly wonderful physician was a POS capable of attributing my unwanted pregnancy to any possible explanation save one... surgical failure. Honestly, it's unlikely I'll ever trust another physician again.
One of my close friends was undergoing treatment for infertility at the time of this fiasco. I've never told her what happened to me, though I rejoiced when she became pregnant and eventually delivered a healthy child. Life is not fair, and there's no "meant to be" involved, I'm afraid.
We are also a BCP and condom failure. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and a hydrosalpynx, we were using condoms and BCP's and I had a fain idea that I might be pregnant. Lo and behold 2 pregnancy tests later and a blood test, it says I'm negative...Went in for an ultrasound for another issue...saw the heartbeat!
He was meant to be here and I truly believe that no matter how well our medical technology is...if it is meant to be, it'll happen!
The one thing I'm going to tell my kids about babies: Anytime you have sex, you stand a chance of getting pregnant. End of story. LOL
It's so easy for people to judge when someone has an 'unexpected' baby. Some people are just prone to getting pregnant even while using protection. I remember one woman on the BabyCenter forums years ago who had like six kids, all of whom were conceived while using birth control of some kind or another. Wow!
>>It's so easy for people to judge when someone has an 'unexpected' baby.>>
It's also so easy for people to judge those who have an abortion.
>>Some people are just prone to getting pregnant even while using protection.>>
And sometimes, there's an excellent medical reason the "protection" wasn't protective. Like surgical failure.
I just found out my Mirena IUD is embedded in the uterine muscle. Ironically enough, I had been having very painful ovulation so there was no lovin' going on during that time. I went in to get it taken out just because I was having bad 'side effects' like frequent severe bloating, cramping, pelvic tenderness/pain, and painful ovulation. They couldn't find the strings and u/s confirmed it was embedded. It's going to have to be surgically removed. Dh is getting the big V done and we're also discussing birth control options for me. We have 4 children already, 2 had shoulder dystocia and the last was over 10 lbs, I really do NOT want another baby!
Count me in as a provera failure - no periods - found out at 16 weeks after my mom insisted I go to the doctor because my hair was falling out and I was so tired. I truly thought I had mono ;)
It was a definite surprise as I was on provera for control of endometriosis as well and was told that my risk of having babies au natural was very slim...I have a beautiful 16 month old baby girl now and I know that she was meant to be!!!
What banished any lingering thoughts of uncertainty when making the decision to get a vasectomy:
If God really wants us to have another kid--a little thing like a severed vas deferens isn't beyond his scope of miracle...
I keep hoping to become one of these stories...I had my TL years ago and then remarried someone without kids. Tried to get a reversal but there wasn't any tube left on either side. I keep hoping...but mostly trying;)
I'm sure there is IVF in my future, but I still keep my fingers crossed.
I've never seen or heard of any data linking Depo failure to increased defects. Can you provide a study?
For some reason, the right side of the entire post is chopped off (and at least the post below is suffering too).
For some reason, the right side of the entire post is chopped off (and at least the post below is suffering too).
Hopefully it's fixed now TracyKM.
P. off Patient, do you care to explain your comment on infertility? I think we forget that infertility is not the same as sterility. Infertile people can and do achieve spontaneous pregnancy, it's just that the probability of such is much lower than the general population. Probability and statistics sometimes work in favor of people with IF, but not always.
I got preggo on the pill.
I now use Implanon - not for everyone but is as effective as a tubal litigation. It is also the single most effective non-permanent bc method. All the rage in Europe but alas most women here have not heard of it.
>>I now use Implanon - not for everyone but is as effective as a tubal litigation. It is also the single most effective non-permanent bc method.>>
Actually, IUDs have a lower failure rate than tubal ligation. According to the U.S. website, Implanon is 99% effective, which is similar to an IUD. It's hormonal birth control, which means it's not for everyone.
I was using the FAM and condoms and still got pregnant- also my fertility charts seemed to show that I wasn't very fertile- my luteal phase was super short so I thought I had less of a chance of getting pregnant anyway. Despite that I got pregnant (didn't beleive it even though I was charting and knew I must be) and had a Perfect pregnancy and a beautiful little girl. :) Of course now I don't know how to avoid that happening again without hormonal birth control..
Anon - you are correct. IUD's do have a higher preventive rate the tubal litigation. I should have been clearer - the effective rate for Implanon is 99.95% or a failure rate of .05% which is the highest/lowest respectively of any bc method including permanent and IUD's. Unlike most methods the actual practical effective rate outside of clinical trials remains the same because it cannot slip out, you cannot forget to take it, etc. You are also correct that it is not for everyone, as I stated.
I have looked after 2 failed post tubal ligation.
I was a foam baby (honeymoon foam baby), my brother was a diaphram baby, my other brother was a condom baby, we are all 18 months apart. My poor mom.
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